Dear Dad
by catlikeeye
Summary: After the events that have taken place on the finale (2x23). Felicity Smoak sits down at her tiny house to start working on her resume but ends up writing a heartfelt letter to her dad.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Dad

Olicity Fiction

After the events that have taken place on the finale (2x23). Felicity Smoak sits down at her tiny house to start working on her resume but ends up writing a heartfelt letter to her dad.

A/N: This is my first fanfiction ever, so please be kind.

Any and all mistakes are my own. If you find them, please let me know.

Thanks you for reading this. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow, or Felicity Smoak or CW, unfortunately.

Dear Dad,

I am home.

I am alone.

There are at least a hundred different things I should be doing right now but I can't find my center and I can't think properly. I was working on my resume, because yeah, I'm kinda jobless and I have bills coming soon but somehow, at this moment, this is the least of my problems.

I am alone and I need you now. Funny how after all these years and after what you've done I still cling to you and how I felt when you were around. Mom would be so pissed right now, if she knew.

Remember when I was just a little girl and you used to tell me how much you loved me all the time? Every time I rambled, every time I laughed, when I was really smart, when I was upset, it didn't matter. Mom used and still does rains on my parade from time to time, but you….you used to look at me and just say 'I love you Lizzie'. I miss it so damn much. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss your smile. I miss your love freely given even when sometimes, okay, full disclose now, most of the times I think it was all a lie.

Felicity Meghan Smoak is a sucker for the three words.

Always was and always will be, apparently.

I should be sleeping but I'm too wired to rest. If I had the disposition and money to see a shrink right now I'm pretty sure he would be over his head with my problems.

So instead of opening my heart to a doctor and risking revealing too much about other people that I need to protect, I'm writing a letter to you, Dad.

You will never read this.

I don't even know if you are alive. I don't know where you are or what you've done all these years. The truth is that I need you right now and as always you are not here.

He looked into my eyes and told me he loved me, dad.

I Know Oliver loves me, the same way I know Diggle loves me or at least he cares for me enough to keep me safe and annoy the hell out of me in the process but somehow, for like, three seconds, the love I felt from him was love, _love_. I know I just said the same thing, but it means something different in my head. I mean I felt the writing poems- watching the sunrise together – big house with white fence- love, you know. The" forever" love.

So when he asked me if I understood, right after placing the syringe with the Mirakuru cure in my hands, I said yes, because for the first time in two years of being part of the team arrow, I could see things clearly. I could see my heart and I understood it and now I'm scared and it hurts.

I'm scared because I realized when the whole town was in shambles and we had to save the city, while we were alone at his house and I looked at his gorgeous face, that's when I knew that I loved him. I love, really love, Oliver Queen.

And I don't know what to do with myself.

If anyone should have been smart enough to keep her distance, it should have been me.

I know him. Not all the secrets, not the way Laurel Lance does. According to her she knows him to his bones. That's pretty intense, I can respect that. Somehow though, I feel like I know _know_ him, the good, the bad, the Oliver that survived all the bad stuff and I helped him realize he was always hero material. I know the Arrow. He is a hero now and I'm glad I could help him get there. I'm glad me and John did not give up on the crazy guy with the hood. It was worth it.

With all the secrets revealed and life threatening situations, all the fights, all the death ….I gave my heart away to someone who won't or can't love me back, apparently.

What am I supposed to do now? Dad, I need you. I need advice, I need your love, I need to figure out how I'm going to keep working with him and not let it show.

I'm an awful liar. Fun Fact he is too.

It confuses me, to be quite honest, how he managed to tell me he that he loved me and make it so real, so believable. I believed him and I thank Yahweh that I did not ramble or answered back. I wouldn't be able to deal with the shame have I done it.

For the first time in my life, I had no words. No brainiac response, no cute retort, nothing.

I was utterly lost in his eyes and his words were echoing in my head and my heart, oh my heart, was in overdrive.

Stupid Felicity, gullible Felicity. I'm in love with someone who has a Lance complex.

Oliver may be a hero now, after this crusade he went through, but I'm a hero to my own right as well and so is John. Together we save this city, everyday. We make sacrifices and it is worth it.

Last night I gave Oliver my life to use against Slade. I don't regret it. I'm glad I could do it.

He told me I was one of the bravest women he knew. I highly doubt that but I take the compliment and keep it safe inside of me. He looks at me like I hold everything he needs; I swear I can talk with him just by shared looks and glances. He touches me and I'm alive.

How am I going to keep pretending when I'm pretty sure the love I feel for him, the love I now acknowledge, was written all over my face? My silence spoke louder than any one of my famous rambles. He knows and I know he knows that I know how I truly feel now.

Luckily I've been around him long enough to emulate his walls. I will try and behave like yesterday never happened. Like he never, ever said those three words. Like my life isn't completely changed. Like my heart isn't bleeding and broken.

I'll be his friend, dad.

Hopefully I won't lose him. He won't leave me like you did and someday he will be ready and he will be mine, like I am his.

I promise you I will write more some other day. This letter writing thing truly works cuz now I'm really sleepy.

Good night dad.

I love you.

Lizzie.


	2. Chapter 2: Oliver Queen keeps a journal

AN1 – First of all I want to thank every single person that took the time to read what I wrote. Let me tell you something, it's nerve–racking and exhilarating to finally show others something you wrote.

So…thank you for the follows, favorites, comments and just for reading it.

Special thanks to: CeCe92, Diiiamond93, Emifaith, Lindsey8907, No.1TwiFanpire, Pink-IcedVovo, bice94, bloomette, sarina20188, sillystring3, softball91, Kimora J, lovepadfoot, sheylly234554 and tsukimonse.

AN2- I started this as an Olicity Hiatus Therapy and since Felicity Smoak is my favorite character on the show and we don't know nearly enough about her, I thought it would be fun to get a little bit of insight about what it's going on in her beautiful mind.

About Oliver Queen's presence in this fic…all I have to say is that he isn't listed as a character only because Felicity mentions him all the time, when the time is right… ;)

I hope you enjoy this second chapter.

As always, all mistakes are my own. I do not own Arrow, unfortunately.

CHAPTER TWO

Dear Dad,

...Oliver Queen keeps a journal.

_What?! No! Of course he doesn't…_

Even if he did I would have no way of knowing…right? _Right?!_

Except I do and I shouldn't be telling you that…..sooo I'm gonna stop this right now!

I did not come here to say that. I was going to tell you how things are going after the "Mirakuru Attack". That's what I call it anyway. The city is broken, not only physically, which is obvious but the people are broken two. It's almost too hard to believe that in the span of two years this city has being devastated by two crazy, delusional super villains.

All for the love of a woman.

Women that from what I heard, were good and would have been horrified, if they saw what these guys did in their name, and their so called love for them.

Malcolm Merlin wanted the Glades gone because it was where his wife died.

Slade Wilson wanted Oliver Queen and anything and everything related to him to crash, burn and die for Shado.

Oliver stopped both of them. Thank God.

So…no I did not come here to talk about Oliver or my feelings. Contrary to what my heart and 80% of brain thinks, my life does not evolve around this guy.

Diggle is going to be a father! I wish you could meet him. He is like the big brother I never had and always wanted. He is this huge guy. Seriously Dad, you need to see the size of his arms. I tried to measure them once, because science you know, but he kept laughing and he wouldn't let me. I explained that future generation would benefit from it, but he offered me Mint Chip ice cream to leave him alone. I caved. The man knows me, what can I say.

Anyways, John and Lila were all kissing in a tree and end up making a _BA-ABY_. They don't know if it's a boy or girl, so I made them a little Team Arrow shirt in baby green. I hope they like it and the baby can totally wear it beneath his regular baby clothes, like superman.

I'm gonna be the best aunt EVER!

Roy is super sad. He is around a lot, helping me with the new lair, but he is quiet most of the time. He misses Thea and I don't know what to do to help. I've tried to find out where she went not only for Roy but for Oliver as well, but it seems she vanished from the face of the earth. No credit card or cell phone activity since the attack, seven days ago. I looked into hotels, motels, airports, train stations, nothing. I promised them I would keep looking and I will. I worry about her too.

The city is slowly rebuilding and you would think that after all the awful things that happened the bad guys would give it a break and leave the innocents alone. No such luck. Team Arrow had to regroup pretty fast because criminals do not take days off, apparently.

I still don't have a job and I'm glad I kept some of the money Oliver gave me last year when he left us to deal with his grief over Tommy's death. I actually made a good run with investments with my share of the money and Diggle's as well at Wayne's Enterprises and gladly it's paying off. Oliver was quite impressed when I told him so.

I love his face when I surprise him like that.

I gave him a "loan", because he only accepted my help after I said I would collect later. I won't. Imagine that, Oliver Queen billionaire extraordinaire thinks he owns me money. I tried to reason that it was ultimately his money all along and he was all FE-LI-CI-TY at me.

God, I _love_, love, the way he says my name.

Anyways, yeah, I saw his journal. I know that you know that I hate secrets. They always bothered me but it was an accident, I swear.

Remember when I was around 5 years old and I was pestering you about how a computer worked and you tried to explain it but I kept asking why, how, and you said something like:

"Why don't you figure it out for yourself, Lizzie?"

And you found me, two hours later, surrounded by the pieces of our computer, the one I destroyed trying to look inside. Mom was yelling and wanted to spank me but you didn't let her. You just calmly asked "Do you understand it now? and I said something like " I think I do, daddy". You then sat by my side on the floor and together we tried to make sense of the mess I've created.

I was seven when I built my first computer. You did not see it because you were already gone.

The true is that I don't like mysteries, they bug me.

The day after I wrote you my first letter, I woke up very early, earlier than usual and found myself at our old lair, the one Slade's men destroyed. I was just trying to see what I could salvage from my broken babies when I noticed that Oliver's old big wooden case was partially broken.

If anything makes me wonder about his past is that thing. From time to time Oliver decides to open it and takes off the most bizarre things. It's like a Pandora box from his Island times.

He keeps it locked at all times and we respect his privacy but that day it was open and I was alone.

I swear I just wanted to look at it for a moment, you know. Maybe if I could see this, I would make sense of the man itself and as always my curiosity got the best of me.

I did not look much because the one thing that kept calling out to me was this notebook. It was too shiny and new to belong to something that happened at the last five years, so I took it and opened and I found this:

**My name is Oliver Queen….**

**For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal: survive. Now I will fulfill my father's dying wish. To use the list of names he left me and bring down those who are poisoning my city. To do this, I must become someone else. I must become… something else.**

And nothing more, I kept turning the pages and after a couple of blank pages, he wrote:

**Tommy died. My best friend died and I couldn't save him.**

At the very next page he wrote:

**My name is Oliver Queen. After five years on a hellish island, I have come home with only one goal: to save my city. But to do so, I can't be the killer I once was. To honor my friend's memory, I must be someone else. I must be... something else.**

The last thing I found there broke my heart once again, he wrote:

**My mother is gone. **

**He killed her. **

**She knew.**

My hands were still trembling when he found me packing our things later that day.

All I could think for the rest of the week is that I wish that after all the pain, sorrow and loss, next time he picks up that little notebook he can write something like this:

**My name is Oliver Queen and I'm a hero.**

Talk to you later, Dad. I hope you are well.

Love,

Lizzie.


End file.
